Therapy for Mixed-Race and Multiracial People in San Francisco
A place for every part of you, without asking you to fit neatly into a box.
Perhaps you were never Asian enough, or never something enough, to feel that you really belonged.
***Maybe you grew up with people asking, “What are you?”
Maybe you endured other people’s confusion and attempts to simplify an identity that your existence inherently defies.
Maybe you always felt like a misfit. Or maybe you became very good at blending in.
Maybe you learned to code-switch, perform, and meet different expectations in different spaces. You became skilled at making other people comfortable, but less certain of what felt true.
Perhaps you carried guilt about the parts of your lineage you didn’t know, couldn’t access, or weren’t taught. Maybe not even your parents could really relate to your experience.
At times, being racially ambiguous or perceived as “exotic” might have felt interesting, pleasurable, or powerful. At other times, the same attention may have left you feeling objectified or empty.
Maybe the rise of mixed-race representation in popular culture has brought up complicated feelings: recognition and skepticism, excitement and grief, belonging and alienation.
There is room here for all of that.
***Your experience deserves nuanced support.
There are experiences many mixed-race people share: managing other people asking you to explain yourself, questioning your identity, and pressuring you to choose a side.
Of course, not every mixed person experiences these things or in the same way.
I am not interested in becoming another person who tries to define you, simplify you, or fit you into a clearly marked category. I want to support you in your multiplicity. I want to support you as you discover the aspects of yourself you resonate with and put down the pieces you want to leave behind.
Each of us can be a kind of patch-work quilt: made from our unique histories, relationships, contradictions, adaptations, losses, desires, and choices. The pieces don’t need to match to create something beautiful and whole.
***What we might explore in therapy:
In therapy, we can make space for the different parts of you.
We might give each part a chance to speak, to be heard aloud, explored, understood, and met with compassion. We can create a conversation between these parts, inviting each one to the table.
As you begin to witness your experience more fully, you may become better able to hear yourself and make choices with greater clarity and agency.
Our work might include exploring:
Racial and cultural identity
Belonging and feeling “enough”
Family expectations and intergenerational patterns
Code-switching and the pressure to perform
Perfectionism, workaholism, and burnout
Relationships, boundaries, and self-trust
Gender, sexuality, and the body
Grief, trauma, and experiences of exclusion
Creativity, spirituality, and meaning
The parts of yourself that have been repressed or silenced
We can begin with whatever feels present.
***A relational and liberation-oriented approach:
I aim to support your process rather than impose an interpretation upon it. I trust your discernment, offer my honest thoughts, and ask thoughtful questions.
Together, we build awareness and choice.
I believe cultural humility is more meaningful than pretending I can relate to every aspect of your experience. Even when we share parts of an identity, I won’t assume that I already understand what those parts mean to you.
Instead, I want to approach your experience with curiosity, care, and humility.
Relational therapy is rooted in the understanding that healing doesn’t happen in isolation. Ultimately, we do together what neither of us could do alone. When approached with care and thoughtfulness, the relationship itself can become a place to experience something new: greater honesty, connection, freedom, and trust.
***What might become possible:
Through our work, I hope you start to feel more at ease accessing the many aspects of your experience without needing to disown one part in order to honor another.
You may begin to feel:
More grounded in yourself
Less dependent on other people’s definitions of you
More compassionate toward your contradictions
Clearer about what you want and need
More able to make choices without abandoning yourself
More authentic in your work and relationships
More connected to your creativity, agency, and sense of aliveness
The goal isn’t to arrive at a final, perfect sense of self. It is to develop a more spacious relationship with your inner and outer worlds – one that can hold complexity and change.
***Some logistics:
We can meet online through telehealth anywhere in California or in my office in Downtown San Francisco, inside the historic Flood Building.
I love the elevators there.
Some of my clients have said that arriving at the office feels a little like entering the Ministry of Magic.
I offer weekly individual therapy for adults and teens. Sessions are $180 per 50-minute session. I also reserve a limited number of lower-fee spaces – which are currently all full.
Book a complimentary consultation.
The next step is a free 15-minute consultation.
We’ll talk briefly about what brings you in, what you’re looking for, a few practical details, and whether the connection between us feels promising.